R.C. Sproul has written a piece entitled, "Off with the Skirts. On with the Pants" (found at www.cbmw.org under Web Resources-Articles) wherein he says, "I’m not sure whether our men in the church wear skirts because we worship a god in a skirt, or whether we worship a skirt-wearing god because the men in the church are so weak." Another author, David Murrow, has written a book entitled, Why Men Hate Going to Church. I have not read the book, but I have read excerpts. The book confirms my theory: men don't go to church because it is effiminate.
Interestingly, another article I read somewhere compared a man's role in Christianity with Buddhism and Islam. This is very interesting. In Islam, men are revered, honored, and highly active; but there is a hardness, a lack of compassion within them. Their "rule" is dictatorial, unkind and often radical. In Buddhism, men are also highly active, but characteristically nonconfrontational. But, with Christianity, men are simply not present. Those who are present are really divided into two categories: the active and the apathetic.
Do you need evidence for this? Murrow posts the following stats on his website (www.churchformen.com):
- The typical U.S. Congregation draws an adult crowd that’s 61% female, 39% male. This gender gap shows up in all age categories.
- On any given Sunday there are 13 million more adult women than men in America’s churches.
- This Sunday almost 25 percent of married, churchgoing women will worship without their husbands.
- Midweek activities often draw 70 to 80 percent female participants.
- The majority of church employees are women (except for ordained clergy, who are overwhelmingly male).
- As many as 90 percent of the boys who are being raised in church will abandon it by their 20th birthday. Many of these boys will never return.
- More than 90 percent of American men believe in God, and five out of six call themselves Christians. But only two out of six attend church on a given Sunday. The average man accepts the reality of Jesus Christ, but fails to see any value in going to church.
Staggering stuff, isn't it?
While the statistics certainly show a lack of manly presence in churches today, society is proving the effects. Jails are filled with men whose father's neglected them, children are raised entirely by a single parent or grandparent - usually maternal. In mainline denominations, what have been two of the most contentious issues of recent years? Ordination of women and/or homosexuals.
Are we really that surprised? Culturally, this generation of men have been beaten down, told that they are no different than women, they are neanderthal, crude, rude, and stupid. Men are portrayed by society as nothing more than Homer Simpson simpletons, Jim Belushi connivers, and Peter Griffin loafs. Meanwhile, the feminist movement presses for "equality of the sexes." Whatever that means, it does not recognize the innate difference and the absolute necessity of maximizing such differences - an it certainly means a misconstruction of "chain of command" established by God. In short, the feminist movement of the past half century has left men without an identity, without a purpose, and unwilling to stand for who they are.
You see, there's a second dynamic at work: men are inherently lazy. I will not put the blame entirely on women and the women's movement because men have simply abdicated their leadership role simply because they have chosen the easy way out. "You want leadership and the frustration such responsbilities bring, be my guest," said many a man in recent years, "I just don't want to argue anymore."
As much as women have overstepped their roles, men have retreated from theirs. All the while, the Church as acquiesced to the change.
The servant leadership role men are commissioned to fulfill has swayed erratically towards subservience, and away from leadership. Sproul suggests a solution, "The calling to men is to be bold and strong, to lead with courage." Leadership means having the maturity to make a decision; the conviction to stand by it; the articulation to explain it; the ability to execute it; the empathy to encourage those struggling with it; the perseverance to carry it into fruition; and the knowledge to know that it is right. But that's what men are missing.
Christian men are missing the knowledge of the God who created them, who they were created by God to be, and what they were created by God to do. This must be the starting point for men to recapture leadership.
In no way am I advocating a quick swing of the pendulum back to ardent leadership devoid of compassion. That's dictatorship, not service in leadership. I am challenging men (and women) to discover Christ and the purpose for which He created men. I am putting out the gauntlet, daring men to identify their convictions and stand by them. It is my admonition to men to be unwavering in their love for the gospel, their leadership of the home, and - as a result - their leadership of the Church.
At the same time, I challenge the church and its current leadership. Do you want men to be more active in your church? Do you want a living men's ministry that will fuel your congregation? Do you want to see women be who they were created to be because the men are being the men they were created to be? Do you want the use of pornography by 70% of the men of your church to stop? Do you want the illicit sex engaged in by 25% of your congregation to cease? Do you want to see a reduction of crime, unwed pregnancies, abortions, drug use, and abandonment of the faith?
Then challenge your men. Tear down the namby-pamby posters of Jesus with the long flowing Breck shampoo hair and flowing gown, and paint a picture of Jesus doing battle for the souls of men and women around you. Eliminate the wussy worship times that have men standing zombie like while women around them sing "Cum-bay-ya" and "Precious Jesus." Replace it with worship that rocks - not in musical style - but in a way that challenges the head, not just the heart, of men. Structure your sermons to appeal to the mind, not just the heart; put in an accomplishable challenge for the men of your congregation to fulfill. Dare them to be men of God and, if they won't, call them a coward!! Tell them to take off their Nancy skirt and put on a pair of BDU's. Challenge them to lose their garters and put on the belt of truth. Admonish them to kick off their Florsheims and shod their feet with the Gospel of Truth.
It is my firm belief that if those in church leadership will accept this challenge, our churches will change. If our churches will change, our families will improve. If our families improve, our society will be bettered. If our society is bettered, our message will spread. If our message spreads, the Kingdom will come.
But, it must begin with men.
