Top 10 Ways to Get Out of Jury Duty

Q: How do I get out of jury duty?

A: As an attorney, I get this question all the time. We live in a democracy that is of, for, and by the people, yet we often cringe when we receive that envelope that carries that ominous “Jury Summons” within. Prospective jurors are like students: they want less time in court (class) for their money!

Let me answer the age-old question once and for all. Let me equip you with the tools you need to get out of jury duty. Here they are, the top ten ways to get out of jury duty:

1. Move to Canada – Take up residency north of the border, renounce your U.S. citizenship, and you’ve just earned yourself freedom from jury duty. Of course, you’ll need to learn to add ‘eh?’ to the end of all your sentences. Hoser.

2. Find Neverland – The fact of the matter is that only those who are 18 years and older get to sit on a jury. Manage to always be one of the “Lost Boys” and never a jury box shall you see.

3. Forget Everything You Ever Learned – Only prospective jurors that can read, speak, and understand the English language can sit on a jury panel. So, forget you ever knew it. You only understand American Sign Language (ASL)? That’s OK. The WV Code specifically provides that knowing ASL is sufficient for jury service.

4. Go Directly to Jail – If you have committed a crime sufficient to revoke your right to vote, you have just disqualified yourself from future service as a juror. Of course, only those who actually look good in blaze orange jumpsuits with silver “cuffs” should actually be this bold.

5. Lie and Get Caught Doing It – But then again, “perjury” still has the word “jury” in it.

6. Serve on a Jury –If you serve on a jury (not just have jury duty) within two years of your most recent summons, you don’t have to serve again…for now!

7. Don’t File Taxes – Tax returns are an avenue from which county clerks pull potential jurors. Of course, the IRS might not like your excuse, “I only did it to get out of jury duty!” (And then you’re back to #4. Without passing go.)

8. Don’t Vote – Another area where prospective jurors are found is the voter registration list. No voter’s registration. No jury duty. And no say in our republican democracy.

9. Don’t Drive – All individuals with a driver’s license are eligible to be called for jury duty. Well, gas prices are high….

10. Retire – Our friends and loved ones over the age of 65 get special dispensation: they get to choose whether they want to serve on a jury. Hey, age has its privileges.

Serve your jury duty. It’s about the only way of participating in a branch of government without actually being elected. “The dog ate my summons!” just will not keep you from being held in contempt.